Monthly Archives: April 2015

My Dream? or was it?

My child lives with a mental illness. She has depression and suffers a severe episode every now and again.

Last night, I woke up at midnight with this overwhelming need to sleep with my oldest child. I got up from my bed and moved to her bedroom down the hall.  I know that she was having a hard time falling asleep, so I cuddled with her (probably squished and almost suffocated her but let’s just stick with cuddling).  I knew she was still restless and not really sleeping but around 3 am I woke up and saw this light at her window. I felt like it was coming for her so I held her tighter. I mumbled “No, you can’t have her. If you want her then you have to take both of us.” I quickly said a prayer and proceeded to hold on to her for dear life. Shortly after I fell asleep and was immediately in this dream. The ground was dry & dead, the trees were dead. The air was stale but I knew I had to keep walking. I had something telling me to keep walking. All around me was misery. I came across a field and at the end of that field was my daughter.  She was on her knees, body hunched over and had these ropes or vines binding her arms to her body. She was crying, in pain and choking. I ran across that field and wrapped my arms around her. I prayed, and prayed to the Creator like I never have before. I didn’t ask her why she was there, I didn’t care. All I knew is I had to keep on praying, holding and loving her. It was chaos all around us. Wind whipping the dry dirt all around us, but I kept on praying and loving her then all of a sudden she snapped her head up and said “Mom” and I woke up. I woke up next to my daughter and I cried. I held her, kissed her and said a prayer. Within 5 minutes she was snoring lol that’s when I knew she was really resting.

I cannot be certain as to where I went. All I know is I was lucky enough to go there and be with my daughter.  I always hear about that “Thing” that comes for our children. That “Thing” that takes their souls bit by bit and eventually their lives. I didn’t let that “Thing” take my child. I will not let it take any of my children. I will walk through hell with them or to them before I ever let any “thing” get them.

Depression and other mental illnesses are so heavy,  so unspoken of and I believe the more we talk about it than the less power it has. There are a lot of youth living with this unspeakable,  and yet very common condition. They think that they are the only ones or if they speak about it than their friends & family will shun them.

Love your children, accept them for who they are, what they are going through OR even putting you through.  Always show you love them. Let them know you cherish them and always have hope.