Monthly Archives: January 2015


Sitting here thinking about parents. Not only my parents but my friend’s parents and my nieces & nephews parents (meaning my siblings and in-laws) and my grandchildren’s parents (meaning my nieces and nephews parents). Being a parent is very important me. I love being a parent. It has been thus far my greatest and daily achievement in life. It’s challenging, fun and comes with a lot of heartbreaks. My children never directly broke my heart but it was only when society was mean to them. Some by their own actions and some not. I try to teach them that they are responsible for what happens and doesn’t happen to them. Can’t give them everything. I also show them all the hard work their father and I do to provide them with a good home. Hard work in our jobs, in our marriage and in our fun! We have fun lol working hard gives us the chance to play hard too. (which is why we took them to Florida for the Christmas holidays.) :)

Fiddler/Morris Florida Vacation

Fiddler/Morris Florida Vacation

It wasn’t until a year or two ago how much it hit me that I gave birth to this child, I raised this child and this kid is kinda stuck with me for life lol. I thought that as I looked at each of my children throughout the day as they were milling about at home. Their presence just amaze me lol The responsibility of it all just hit me and I cried because I felt so much more blessed. I seriously love my kids. Thought of my parents and how they lost a child. Sure my brother was 40 but he was still my parent’s child. Such a heartbreak that must be.

My Parents and their children. My late brother in the top row in the middle of all his most beautiful Sisters :P

My Parents and their children. My late brother in the top row in the middle of all his most beautiful Sisters :P








Than I thought about how can I ease their pain and I overheard my Mom say to someone at the grocery store “Stay sober and keep & raise your children…that’s how you can help me because it gives me peace of mind” (all in our language of course) I have heard her say that many times but this time it really hit my heart and that’s my wish for all my nieces & nephews who are raising their young ones…I pray that you find the daily strength and courage it takes in being an active parent in your child(ren’s) lives. That is the greatest gift you can give them, to yourself and those around you…especially your parents :)

Happy Birthday to my dear Bro


*I wrote this story on the day of his birthday.  Friday, December 26. He would have been 41 years old.  I love and miss my brother so much but all I wish for him is to be a peace.  I had a good dream of him on Christmas morning. I woke up crying tears of happiness, sadness and joy. 

I was born 4 years after my older trio of siblings. They were born one year after another so they were a tight group. 
Back in 1978, there were no cell phones or no internet to share the joyous news of a new born. Mothers flew out alone on small float planes to Sioux Lookout to give birth. My Mom was out by herself when she had me and my Dad was back in Bearskin Lake taking care of my older siblings. On the day of my joyous birth, my Dad was doing laundry with them when someone came and told him that his favorite child was born and that he should to give the other children away…so he did….right away…LOL just kidding that didn’t happen. Lol My Dad asked my brother Robert what he wanted to name is his new born baby sister. After much thought he told my Dad “Shii-wii-taa-gun Koo-koosh” meaning “Salt pork” LoL
Through out the years my Brother would tease me or if I was being a pest than he’d say “Shut up Salt Pork” then either I’d get mad or we’d laugh lol I always wondered why he called me that.
On the day he got medivac’d to Thunder Bay he kept texting me. We were teasing each other and I told him that I would be at the Thunder Bay Regional when he got there. I drove off right away and zoomed to Thunder Bay. Before I left, he texted me “I love ham so therefore I love you lol” and I wrote back “eeeee you love Salt pork…Coulda been my name if Dad listened to your craziness” “Yeah” he replies…”i was thinking about that” I wrote back “I always wondered about why you wanted to name me that but I came to the conclusion that you wanted to name me after something you dearly loved so you named me Salt Pork”. Okay” he replies. We had a good laugh about that convo when I got to see him at the emerge department the next day. I took care of his and our Father’s immediate needs and headed home. My Dad needed his truck so I had to take my friend to drive it from Sioux for us 
In the time Robert was in Thunder Bay Regional, we kept in contact via facebook and texts. We shared jokes, stories and a few intimate moments. I was lucky enough to visit my Brother the weekend before he passed away. We were talking about him being transfered to Sioux Lookout and that I couldn’t wait for him could be closer because it would have been much easier for me to take care of him. I honestly believed that he would be here longer for me to take care of him and for him to be with us. There are moments I miss him sooooo much and there are moments I happily recall memories of him. I had a really good dream about him Christmas morning so I know he’s in good spirits. 

Happy Birthday to you Robear! Love you!