I’m a positive that each and everyone of you have been affected by someone who took their own lives….someone who was in so much pain that they committed suicide and left us in a world full of pain & endless questions.
Today is also my late cousin Crystal Jeannie Winter’s memorial and it’s also Suicide Prevention Day….coincidence? I think not.
It was 21 years ago that I found out that my Sister took her own life. The fucking pain and anguish that entered my heart that day. Sometimes that pain hit me as I was growing up….the pain itself didn’t get any less…the frequency of WHEN it hit me did. I will never find out why she couldn’t handle being on this earth any more. I will never hear her annoying voice! (usually bossing me around lol) nor will I hear her laughter ever again. She was my best friend! my Sister! my craziest Cousin! The questions that haunted me for so many years. Why? why? why? but those will never be answered. There was also lots of bursts of anger. She left us in a world of hurt BUT I imagine the pain and loneliness she was in was far worse because she had to take her own life to escape it.
I’m not going to pretty up the truth nor am I going to lie…there were many times I wanted to die to escape the pain from the abuse I endured as a child. I started walking my healing journey when I was 18 years old and so thankful for the people that were there to help & guide me get out of the hell I was in.
Just remember that there is HOPE! there is always someone who cares about you and someone who will always love you. HOWEVER! They may not be able to help you the way you need or want to be helped so that’s why we have Mental Health services! we just need to reach out. (click on the links) Mental Health Help LINE 1-866-531-2600 There’s Nodin Counselling , Community Counselling and toll free #’s REACH OUT! Mental Health Resources, Kid’s help line 1-800-668-6868 or google it lol but remember that there is HOPE. There are professionals out there that are trained to help you get through your hell….you just need to take the first scary, but well worth step towards living the life you were meant to live.